Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Challenge of being personally responsible for the failures of others.
                                     Happy Fathers Day, 2012.
Do not celebrate yet for the job of a father never ends even when your children can say, "Yes, I know Dad"
Do not stop advising your kids even when you hear them say to perfect strangers ... "My father used to say ..."
The job of a DAD is giving unsolicited advice; Being there when they think 'I don't need help Dad'; Cheering
them on with your last breath; Protecting them from themselves and yourself by switching between 'praise'
or 'panic' in your voice as appropriate; Molding them like clay at the hands of a potter and at other times 
sharpening their rough edges like the blacksmith.

Your hope is like that of a painter ... to produce the best portrait; the pride of the bricklayer ... to build the 
most magnificent edifice. Your job has no definition but it is the most vital of all jobs you will ever hope for; it 
has no timing, no ending, no remuneration but it is the most rewarding; the most challenging and a lot of 
planning and scraping, sleepless nights and somber moments but nothing more will give you the most hope
to get up and do it all over, again, again and again not knowing what the final result will be.

Dad is a job where there is no accurate test for your efforts; your reward most likely will be reaped by strangers,
enemies and the rest of humanity; your best intentions will earn you rejection, your hard work will be rebuffed as 
'mean'; your advice and counsel will not be acknowledged; you will be blamed for failure of others who clearly 
refused to heed your warnings; scorned by the world for others failings but no praise for their excellence.

Yet ... be proud to be a dad because it is lucky to be called worthy to help to mold the generation that will posses 
this earth after we are long gone. Do it right everyday because someone also so selflessly invested in you to continue 
to mold the pillars of our universe. Maybe, if you are lucky your "Happy fathers day" will come. It comes to each man 
individually, not on an artificially set date like today. It will come to you personally the day you can poke a perfect 
stranger somewhere and point out ..."That's my son". Then and that is the best day in the life of a Dad, that is when 
you can stop and say, my job as a Dad is done.

Today, the job continues for each man ... being the best dad you can, teaching by your words and your actions, 
building dreams, hopes and confidence to face the future, letting them fall or fail when they must but reassuring that 
the measure of their worth is not about failures but in the ability to rise up at each turn, the learning that the hope of 
winning comes from the acceptance of the possibility of failures, that success is the sum of failures plus effort, 
that experience is the mix of your personal failings and those of others, and that maturity is earned by attention to all 
that life and living brings your way. Life is full of successes and failures alike. To live life is to accept all of life's promises 
of ups or downs, glory or doom, successes and failures. Yet, life is worth living because tomorrow is always better than 
yesterday. Teach your son and every young mind along your way, especially all the fatherless kids out there that because 
they have today, they can always make their tomorrow better than any day they have ever lived. You will get a pause, a 
ponder, a smile or frown and sometimes a starring into the oblivion. That is your measure that you have challenged a young 
mind, that is your cue that you have been a father ... celebrate each of those silent and fleeting moments because you will 
not experience the majority of them, but they will be there, even when you are far away or gone.

Have you been a good Dad today???.

Happy father's Day.

... Composed by Charles-Lawrence Abiahu... June 17, 2012.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Mbaise ... The Challenge of Saving Ourselves!.

Message from the National Secretary, Mbaise USA.
Our Best is not Enough .… The Challenge of Saving Ourselves.
From the foundations laid in Houston, Texas to the drawing of a plan of Action in New York, New York; From the building blocks of Atlanta, Georgia to the cementing of our hopes and aspirations in Chicago Illinois, our fathers house is being molded one block at a time. The vision is right and the task is enormous. I am proud of the legacy and heritage of our forefathers, which is that we are always a giant. Sometimes, the giant goes into a deep slumber but there is never a doubt that when roused from sleep, that our people will always do great things.

Mbaise people are uniquely endowed by our maker with good sense and sound judgment. A proud people willing to be led but with the quick sense of fairness and equity. Our people will follow but they also demand for their leaders to lead the way. If you want Mbaise to lift the log of wood, they want to also see your sleeves rolled up and hands on the log. I dare say that the inability to comprehend this modus has been the undoing of many great efforts at moving our people forward. Our leaders have never lacked great ideas but have always lost the understanding of what is required to harness the trust of our people. For our people, trust is earned and never a right. To succeed our next generation of Mbaise leaders must get off their high horses and get in the trenches. Trust must be cultivated by astute management and transparent accountability every step of the way.

Mbaise has too long lagged behind in taking its rightful place in the leadership of our State and Country Nigeria. We have been rigged out of political relevance by gerrymandering that the Orlu and Okigwe Zones if they band together will continue to dictate the turn of events in our State. But to be able to muster a challenge or attempt to turn the tide, our leaders must first get our house in order. Our best hopes for a better Mbaise is not enough. All hands must be on deck in order to propel ourselves forward. I challenge both our leaders and citizens to begin the task at creating the vision of where we go from here. The maiden medical mission by Mbaise USA has proved to us the enormity of the challenges for saving ourselves and our people. This is not a time to be faint minded; it is a time to feel challenged to rise to the occasion. Healthcare and delivery is not the only thing lacking in Mbaise. Young people have no jobs and many do not have a trade or training for their own survival or resourcefulness. Mothers are worried about the next meal for their children and the list goes on.

Are we going to cower or are we going to forge a Union to continue to chip away at the problem. I choose the later and will recommend you to my favorite quote by George Bernard Shaw … "You see things as they are and ask, 'Why' I dream things as they never were and ask, 'Why not'". So, let us band together under the visions of the able leadership of our honorable President, Collins Olorondu and Chairman, Board of Directors, Dozie Onwuliri and ask of ourselves, “what next…”. The challenge to save ourselves demands more than our individual bests; it requires our common sacrifices; every mind in tune and every hand intertwined. It simply requires that each of us chip in our quota and a little bit more. We must use our resourcefulness in governmental offices, non-governmental agencies and charitable organizations, individual and private donations in kind or cash, etc. At times, it will require personal efforts but with the focus on the general vision that together our new task is to save ourselves individually and collectively.  Mbaise (a clan of five giants)… Imagine what quake if these giants rise and stand together as one man. Let us stand up and do the work that must be done. The time is now. May God continue to bless Mbaise.
Charles-Lawrence Uzoma Abiahu
(National Secretary, Mbaise USA)

*** Submitted at the 4TH Annual Mbaise USA National Convention, 
Chicago, IL. (July 1ST-3RD, 2011)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Is there a civic obligation to a Country that does not accord any Rights to her citizenry.

My Fellow Nigerians,

I wish you all your heart desires and the blessings of Easter and salvation in Christ Jesus. I did not want to mess up your Easter spirits, so I decided to wait. Please be advised that the Nigerian Embassy in Washington DC is not yet equipped to issue the New Nigerian Passport. This past week I bundled my entire family and drove five hours to DC only to be told that "Sir, We are Sorry, we don't yet have our Finger Printing and Biometrics equipment yet". It sounded impossible that the lady would be right because I had a formal scheduling two weeks ahead and know at least five other families also scheduled at the same location up to two weeks beyond my date. So I asked for a Supervisory Official, which also sounded strange to them, in WASHINGTON DC, in the United States. Long and short, the Supervisor, eventually came out to talk to me, without apologies, explaining that the scheduling was being handled direct from Abuja and that they are expecting their own equipment in mid May, of this year. I did not get any specific answer to my question of how it was possible to continually schedule people at the Washington, DC office on the Internet without the equipment to do the job; how nonchalant that even if this option to pick that location was a mistake that it is allowed to happen to more than one family since all it takes is to disable the DC Office as a possible option on the application form; why did DC officials not email people on that appointment pool to Cancel or place one phone call to Abuja to disable DC office as an option. As we talked, the young lady at the corner continued to turn people around with the same, we don't have equipment yet, and I as I write, the location is still an option. 

How does a Country take her citizens for granted so blatantly; I mean, how do these Nigerians or officials live with there conscience everyday, living in this Country and seeing how a job is done, expecting and receiving services but go into work and treat their fellow citizens as DIRT; without consequences. And now the good NEWS, which is BAD ENOUGH, is that after making Nigerians scramble to renew Passports all around the world, this official told me that the April 30th Deadline has been cancelled "till Further Notice". Are we supposed to take another deadline issued by our Country seriously ever again. So, if your Passport is still valid, I have it on sound authority from a top official, that you can travel with it, and that if you already have been receipted by the DC office, your Passport application and fees are valid at the New York and Atlanta Offices in the United States and any Passport Office in Nigeria for Issuance of the new e-Passport. NIGERIA, WE HAIL THEE; our own Dear Native Land. 

Long Live Nigeria,

Charles Abiahu.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

My Political Manifesto for the office of "Governor", Imo State of Nigeria.

In just a couple of weeks, the esteemed people of Imo State will have the opportunity to cast their vote for candidates to office of Governor. Perhaps it is appropriate to remind ourselves of events in the Middle East and the toll of blood now being shed to be able to express their will as to who and how they should be governed. The only thing worse than living under an authoritarian governance is to live in a "sham democracy" that scuttles the will of the people. All over Africa and the Middle East is one story or another of mans inhumanity to his fellow men. We seem to have become comfortable in Nigeria with mediocrity and corruption in government circles. Most people don't think the Country and their God given rights of self determination is worth fighting for or preserving. Better still, they are so willing to look the other way if they get "settled" or can gain from the corruption at the expense of fellow Country men. With all the wealth and resources that the Almighty endowed on our Country, my people are still content to willingly slave in foreign lands. What about our Children. They will never know our Country the way me and you do. Their endearment and true allegiance, as it should be lies with the United States and Europe where they are born and raised. That is all they know; that is where they have their friends. We have another opportunity to elect the right people to offices and demand that they repair our National pride. Will Nigerians demand that their votes actually count this time around. Suddenly, but not surprisingly, the drumbeats to thwart the will of the electorates is in top gear. The Nigerian Press corps a while ago reported on Governor Ohakim's voter intimidation and electoral process irregularities spanning from INEC Voter registration boxes that disappeared from polling registration centers to an official INEC citation against the Imo government for double registration of voters and this March, the directive by Governor Ohakim for all civil servants in Imo State to show their voter registration cards before they could collect their salaries gave everyone enough to ponder. Ohakim is what I call a "lucky Strike" of history in Imo politics. He is the undeserved benefactor of the political power play in Imo State by Obasanjo and the PDP bigwigs to scuttle the good fortune of Senator Ifeanyi Ararume. In the interest of full disclosures, my brother in law, Chief Noel Chukwukadibia Agwuocha is the gubernatorial running mate to Senator Ararume. But the more I read up on this guy, Ararume, the more he earns my respect. Obasanjo insisted that Ararume being an outspoken senator must stay another term at the senate to push his plan to abrogate the two term limits so he can rule a third term. He defied him and even though he won the PDP mandate, it was wrested from him. Ararume then resorted to the Courts and the Supreme Court rightly declared him the winner of the primaries... yet PDP chieftains had their orders from "above". Does this look like the profile of a "trouble maker" to you. I will tell you what a trouble maker would have done, he would have financed enough tugs to cause mayhem in the State for a long time. No, not Ararume, he put the interest of the State above his personal ego and rights to govern. He is back now four years waiting asking for Imo people to give him a chance to restore good governance and integrity to the Imo State House. I will dare to submit that in todays Nigerian politics, when you refuse to go with the herd; when you have the moral audacity to stand up and speak up for your believes or what is right they get rid of you and if the can't, you will be tagged a "trouble maker". I could not find any criminal reports on this guy for a successful international businessman that have business interests in many Countries of the world. He is one of the few Nigerians able to hold his own in the fish import business in Nigeria prominently held by the Indians and Lebanese and has distinguished himself as a stand up politician not to be taken for granted. I want a fighter like Ararume leading the way to break down the embers of corruption and maladministration in Imo State, especially now that we need it. Ararume has proved he a team player by promising to serve for only one term in order not to affect the current zoning formula.

Yet there is the looming question for the electorates to answer at the ballots... "Are we better off today than we were at the beginning of Governor Ohakim's reign" We have heard the scandals, the incompetence and treachery  that has trailed this regime, too many to mention; there is one probe after the other by EFCC and other government accountability agencies against the Imo State Government, too numerous to enumerate, etc. If where we are, which is nowhere because we are regressing as a community rather than developing is the best Ohakim can offer, why should we take another chance with him. Why is he spending so much time and government money wooing and paying people off to support him. You would think that his achievements should be recommending him for our votes after four years at the saddle. Little wonder none of those endorsing him can specifically identify the reason for their supposed loyalty. Morally bankrupt is the way to describe these people who have sold our future for a pot of Ohakim's porridge. Tufiakwa!. But much more revolting than Ohakims charlatans to me is this seemingly cohesive exploit to remain in power in spite of his governments ineptitude. As the National Secretary of MbaiseUSA, the umbrella organization of Mbaise peoples regional and State chapters in the United States I know how many invitations I have received from friends to "share money and support Ohakim". Rather than paying people off for votes or alliances to rig Imo State elections, Ohakim would have etched his name in the history books by just doing due diligence in managing the affairs of the State. Shame on us all that sell our souls and our birthright for Ohakims loaf of bread. I remind you that this same tendency is the same thing that have kept Imo people running all over the Country and the world for livelihood. I happen to think that the Igbos are by God's grace the smartest and most hard working people on the face of this earth. Don't we deserve a government that at least works as hard to improve our circumstances. Don't we deserve people who can serve with the fear of God and the hope for our posterity. I have avoided talking about Chief Agwuocha because of my being part of his family, but perhaps too, that affinity makes me the best person to tell Imo people much more than they already know that he excelled as the most memorable Speaker of Imo House of Assembly in a long time. Noel was just a boy when his father, Arch Deacon Eleazer Agwuocha moved him and his siblings all over Imo State building new churches and uplifting failing Anglican Dioceses. He learned true service to the people and the fear of God from his own father. He has been in politics all his life spanning from Students Union President at both Imo State University and the University of Lagos. He has served Imo government as Commissioner and in other respects and has not unjustly enriched himself in spite of all the opportunities. Ararume proved his seriousness to govern and gave a promise of the caliber and temperament of the kind of people he will surround himself with with this stroke. Also, in the interest of full disclosures, I will vouch for Mrs. Viola Onwuliri because I know her well. She loves Imo people. My uncle, Engineer Livinus Ibekwe and Professor J.C. Ododo knew the Onwuliri's as colleaques in academia. So they gave me letters to the Onwuliris when I gained admission to Unijos Law Department. When I finally met them, they wrested me from School hostel and gave me a room at their boys quarters and we ate dinner with them every evening (but I still missed Naraguta hostel... Great JOSITES!). When I left Jos three years later, she and her husband were already Heads of their respective Departments in far away Plateau State. But we all watched how Ohakim used and dumped Ada Okwuonu giving her only forty eight hours to resign for his own political exigencies. I will hate for my "auntie V" as all of us fondly called her at Unijos be disrespected in the same manner or put in a position that denies our beloved Imo people her strength and gracefulness. Ohakim proves at every turn that "winning is the only thing" for him in politics, and I am offended that somebody in such high office still has no regard or respect for women in this century. Not even a Military head of State will summary dismiss and disgrace a deputy governor the way Ohakim did just reposition his political exploits.

Going forward, and for the sake of my State and my people of Imo State, irrespective of who wins the elections (if the integrity of our ballots is protected) I am laying down a set of goals that will guarantee the fastest road to Imo State development in the next four years. I will as your Governor put in place on the first day a Government Accountability Office that will vet all government accounts, all contracts and bid submissions, including inter and intra-ministerial accounts. The objective is to be transparent and restore financial dealings as a public record option. I will direct that all Imo contracts be from all agencies be subject to vetting by the Accountability office made up of tested Statesman from each Constituency. Investment or bids by non-Nigerians will require a fifty percent participation or equity holding in the company by Nigerians. My government will make no compromises in ensuring and enhancing the quality of education and training of our youths. I have met too many college graduates that cannot communicate coherently in English or adequately express original thought process. The problem must be met with good "foundation learning". Early standardized education (elementary and primary) learning is vital to shaping the mind. There must be an accountability process to reward good teachers and get rid of redundant ones. I want a learning process that emphasizes hands on approach instead of theory alone. Imo people initially flocked to Chief Rochas  Okorocha because of his reputation as an educational philanthropist but most are now finding out that education is not even in his Party's Manifesto. I wonder if he had set this NGO up as a pedestal. Our people are already too battered for games. I am also very big in transparency in government. It is the bedrock of a successful democracy. I want to see the scheduling of my Governor, what meetings and the reciords of those meetings as public records; I will appoint a Press Secretary that is accountable to the Press Corps to give full information on the activities of governance and answer their questions. You never know how wiser and how much insight you gain by listening to your critics. Nigerians are irritated by critics instead of trying to learn from their mistakes. Most criticism in good faith usually helps to mirror your actions and fine-tune them. But beyond a concrete plan to ensure that our kids are educated and more access to our people to their government, I will bring Imo citizens home. Am I the only one who is ashamed that all my life, we have remained a "developing Country" "LDC's" "Africa" and other like terms. We have the example of the developed world and industry of our people to change our fortune. I will force the hands of the Federal Government to Dredge the River Niger. There should be a major sea port in Eastern Nigeria. Our people import and supply the rest of West Africa. Why should all that hard work be exploited by Lagos and Abuja. I will get a consensus from  all South Eastern States to Sue the Federal Government and if that does not work, I will find some "developmental need basis" to partner with a foreign business interest to cite a sea port in Imo State. Yes, I want more accountability for the oil from the East. Time to hold the oil Companies to do what they already do in Europe and America... develop the towns where you earn your livelihood. I will underlie that I have no sympathy for "secession baiters". There is enough to go round in Nigeria for everybody if we have good accountable governance. When I create the jobs and infrastructure, not only will our traders return from Lagos and Abuja, I will set up favorable investment and residential havens to attract Igbos and investors from all over the world. I want a united front of South Eastern Governors, not as a threat to other States but to bridge our complexes. Igbos will achieve more and our children will be better for it than the current rivalry and complexes of Anambra Vs. Imo, etc. In doing that, I also want Northern Nigeria to trust us. If we prove that we can govern well, transparently and fairly, they may want to  trust us with the entire Country. So far, all they are hearing is that if an Igbo man ascends the Presidency, he will divide the Country or at least fan the embers of Biafra. Enough of that. Europe and the rest of the world are finding out the gain in numbers. If Nigeria educates her citizenry, the fear mongering by tribe and religious exploitation of our Country by politicians will become laughable.

Trade, Trades and more Trade. I am a big believer in Privatization. Igbos are by their nature entrepreneurs. It is the duty of government to create an enabling environment for all citizens to attain their full potentials. Time to do something about NEPA. I strongly believe that if regional or State governments begin to assert themselves for good the federal government will do more. I want electricity and telecommunications Privatized or I will ask Imo federal representatives in the House and Senate to bring a Law in Motion for States autonomy to pursue alternative "developmental power generation" Under such powers, I will fund and partner with investors to make sure there is electricity and other major developmental infrastructure. Care must be taken not to "sell" the Country. By this I mean to say that all Privatization and foreign investment in major or National Security interests must at least require an equity share of any foreign investor to be held by Nigerians with a funded Development Bank that will help Nigerians find initial investment capital to own their own businesses. With over fifty billion Naira that Imo State gets from the government, we ought to show more for it in enhancing the livelihood of our people rather than fueling foreign bank accounts. The best way to stop kidnapping and hopelessness in the South East of Nigeria is not by banning "Okada". It will require concrete job creation and reeducation of youths. My government will in addition to funding and improving our current school systems will emphasize and fund trade and technical community colleges. We need to train factory workers, drivers, mechanics, tailors, bakers and small time manufactures. Igbo people are thinkers. Many dreams and inventions are wasted for lack of funding. My administration will emphasize education of women and encourage alternative trade and talent hunt for inventors and industrial entrepreneurs. I will require each local government to be involved in trade and retraining of young people to acquire skills to be employable or able to be independently employed if they choose to.

As we go to the polls, this April, let every citizen vote their conscience. Let our votes count. Lets speed up development for our people so that the best minds that can help to build our Country do not continue to seek pastures in foreign lands. As a start, I want the next Governor of Imo State to issue an order that requires the Electoral administration to count Nigerians wherever they live in the world. There is technology to do that accurately. If enough States insist on it, it will become the Law of the Land. I see no reason why the governments cannot saddle State liaison Offices around the world to electronically tabulate the votes of citizens during national elections. This is one way to encourage participation in our home politics. It will as well ginger more debates about the kind of leadership we want for our State and maybe pave an inroad into bringing our people home. I will challenge the census and electoral records in Nigeria any day because it does not take into account the vast majority of Igbo citizenry living abroad. May the best candidate win and may Imo State be a shining example for emulation by others.

May God Bless Igbo people.
May God bless Imo State of Nigeria.

Charles Abiahu.

Facebook/Twitter handles ... "@charlesabiahu"

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

of NigerianSocioPoliticonoNometrics of leadership

Once upon a time, when Baba (Obasanjo) was in office as the president, he got an invitation from the Queen to come for a visit to England . After all the banquets and carriage rides and what not, Baba finally got the quiet moment he has craved all day in order to have a one on one chat with her majesty. After the usual small talk, Baba quickly popped the question (no silly, not that question). He asked her what the secret to her success was. You know Nigerians, we think everything is a secret…the President’s health status is a secret, his whereabouts is a secret, reports of the various panels of enquiry set up by govt to investigate the causes of different crises around the country are kept secret, we even have secret registries in every government agency in d country. Maybe we are a secretive people, we love secrets.`

Anyway, back to our story. So Baba asked for the SECRET to d Queens’s success and she told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she makes certain that only the intelligent get to positions of authority. 

She decided to show him exactly what she meant and so she phoned Tony Blair. "Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence.” 

Queen: "Hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you: your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"

Tony Blair replied instantly, "It's ME your majesty!" 

Queen: "Correct! Thank you and goodbye" 

"You see Mr. Obasanjo?" said the Queen 

"Yes”, he replied “and thanks a lot, I'll definitely be using that!" 

Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts about Mantu’s level of intelligence and he decided to test him. He arranged a meeting with him and asked him: 

"Mantu I have a question for you; your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?." 

Mantu thinks...... and thinks………and thinks, and finally says, "Em, Mr. President, you must give me more time to think about it." 

And Mr. Obasanjo gave him 2 weeks to come up with an answer. That afternoon, Mantu called a meeting of all his aides, advisers and assistants to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. So he decided to take it to the floor of the senate. After a heated debate the senate President thought it wise to clear out the gallery and go into a closed session as he believed the revelations that may result could be damaging to the family and reputation of the distinguished senator Mantu. 

After about two hours of deliberations, the house decided to set up an ad hoc committee to look into the matter and report back to it in ten days. The committee was given the followingterms of reference:

1. To come up with a complete family tree of the entire Mantu clan 

2. To pay a courtesy call to the traditional ruler of Mantu’s village and the State Governor 

3. To interview all living relatives of Senator Mantu 

4. To determine if Sen. Mantu’s dad had any extramarital affairs 

5. To determine the DNA composition of Sen. Mantu (in Germany of course or Saudi) 

On completion of its assignment, the committee was to submit its report to the senate which will then pass it on to the Senate committee on special duties. This committee will then review the report of the ad hoc committee and come up with a draft “white paper” (whatever that means). This draft “white paper” will then be brought back to the senate and on approval will be passed on to the President through Senator Mantu. 

The Ad-hoc committee then submitted its budget which of course was kept SECRET but included funds for; 

a) The immediate purchase of Land Cruiser jeeps for each of the 12 members of the committee. The jeeps will be used to travel to Mantu’s village bcos as you know, Nigerian roads are bad and Mantu’s village is remote. 

b) Air tickets (first class of course) and hotel accommodation in Jos for committee members and their numerous aides. They’ll stay at the Hill-station hotel and drive to Mantu’s village in the morning. 

c) Air tickets (again first class) to Germany and back, and hotel accommodation (five star) for everybody. 

d) Estacodes and hazard allowances 

e) Logistics 

f) Miscellaneous

Even though the budget was kept secret, you can easily come up with the figure by taking the actual estimate of the above list and multiply by ten. You’ll only run into problems when u get to the final two items (logistics & miscellaneous) , as these are usually added to cover for all the people that need to be “settled” in order to ensure that everything goes smoothly. Therefore the figures have the tendency of varying widely and so it can’t really be predicted. 

Anyway, the money was released and the committee started its assignment in earnest. They finished within the time frame that was stipulated in their terms of reference and they prepared a voluminous report which was to be presented at the senate at plenary. But on the d-day when the chairman of the committee was about to make the presentation, a distinguished senator from the Southern part of the country raised a “point of order”. He argued that the committee was illegal because its composition was lopsided in favor of a certain region in the country. He pointed out that of the 12 members; seven were from the North and only five from the South. Not to be outdone, another Senator this time from the North raised a “point of order” on the “point of order” that was raised by the Senator from the South. He argued that since the committee’s assignment was primarily to investigate the lineage of Senator Mantu (who is from the North), they needed

senators who knew the terrain, who understood the culture of the people and their language. 

More points of order followed and after a while the Senate President decided to put a stop to it by subjecting it to a voice vote. 

And thus he announced, “All those in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus go ahead to present its report say “AYE””. And the house responded accordingly. 

And then he asked again, “All those not in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus should not go ahead to present its report say “NAY””. And the house responded accordingly. 

Unfortunately for Mantu, the “NAYs had it” and thus the report was never presented. Now Mantu has a really big problem, because the president is waiting for an answer and he has run out of time. So in one last effort, he decided to phone his very good friend Jerry Rawlings who had always sounded intelligent to Mantu and thus may have the answer to this really difficult question. 

"Jerry, your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?." 

Jerry answers immediately. "Hey, Mantu, It's me of course, you dumb Nigerian!"

Mantu couldn’t believe his luck and so he rushed to Aso Rock villa, his motorcade of five cars moving at top speed with sirens blaring. Ordinary Nigerians going about their normal businesses scampered out of the way. When they finally arrived their destination, Mantu literarily ran all the way to the President's office. 

"Mr. President, Mr. President”, he called out, breathing heavily. “I know who he is” 

Obasanjo: “Good, so tell me” 

Mantu: “ it’s Jerry Rawlings Sir! In fact when he revealed the SECRET to me, I started to see the resemblance between us"

Obasanjo: "Jerry Rawlings ko, Jerry Gana ni. You are such a stupid senator. Olodo rakpata! I'll make sure you don’t return to office after this term. Stupid man, the correct answer is TONY BLAIR!"
And that’s how Mantu never returned to the Senate even though he supported the President’s third term agenda. 

NB: This piece is satirical. The characters in it are fictional. Any similarities with real characters, events or places are mere coincidences

-------(Original author Unknown)

Charles Abiahu


Friday, August 6, 2010

Men are smart; Women are Smarter????

 THE OBIDIENT WIFE

 

The Obedient Wife'

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,
 
And was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. 

I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him. 

Well, he died.
 L

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

'Wait just a moment!'
 

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said,
'Girl, I know you were not foolish
enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied,
'Listen, I'm a Christian;

I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'
 

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
 

'I sure did,' said the wife..
 
'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... 
If he can cash it, then he can spend it.' 

Send this to every clever female you know, and
to every man who thinks they are smarter than women!!!

 

                                          
 
  
reproduced for your infortainment  .

(Original Source UNKNOWN... Thanks Chris Emedom)

Dated this August 6th, 2010

Charles Abiahu.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Lessons of the 3rd Annual MbaiseUSA Convention!!!

The case for community building
"Mbaise nwere madu". Like locusts on a fresh field of corn, sons and daughters of Mbaise descended on Atlanta, Georgia. No, not "Georgia on my mind", but they were all poised to portray that not only was Mbaise on each mind, we wanted to do something about it. Love was in the air. We talked about it, we bemoaned the security unrest in the homeland; we clapped to the stories of "lee k'osi d'nma... bu mgbako umunne. But there was more, Atlanta gave us everything. The women were from the 6th heaven, gleaming with pride. One woman born in Ngwa declared that she would still be married in Mbaise up to her tenth incarnation to this world. But there is not enough space to talk about the majesty of our children. In unimpeachable American accent, they sang to the glory of Mbaise... in vernacular... "Chuku gozie ndi mbaise.... It was beautiful.I'm still humming to it.

"Olu diri mu na gi". This was as far as an agreement you will get between the Catholics and the Anglican Communion back in the days. Yes, we have lots and lots of work to do in Mbaise. The question is when shall we arise, pick up our shovels and really do the work. But as a silent observer, I ached in my heart as I took in all this "funfare" and fanfare. What a shame I thought to myself...that with this many articulate people, with this number of successful men & women; with this level of boisterous enthusiasm, our siblings, our parents, our homeland lies as a wasteland. Then I remembered that Mbaise nwere madu all over the world. How is it that we continue to trail behind in development and developmental initiatives, who are the traitors among us that have hampered our unity, our growth and ore resourcefulness as one people. Is it not possible that we can change our community for the better; to be the example for other communities in Nigeria. Time to dig in and produce results.

"Mmadu abughi ewu". They say that a practical definition of insanity is to continue to do the same thing expecting a different result. It is long overdue for us to take our faith in our hands. I am looking for commonsense practical solutions, simplistic but pragmatic overhaul of our priorities. Time to realize that when you help another Mbaise man, you help yourself. This has worked for so many jewish, asian and other communities in the United States who have pulled together to assist each other with business financing, guaranteeing, and loan provisions to help others in their community to grow. I again call on other Mbaise citizens to replicate the micro-financing effort championed by Chief Mrs. Akuechiama. This model of short term loans have a proven record of transforming rural communities. When we see this trend working all over Mbaise on personal and individual initiatives will be the right time for MbaiseUSA to intrduce matching funds and sponsor more access to funding. I am a huge fan of schools scholarship programs. I am always uplifted by the success and state in life of people I have helped to achieve their educational pursuits. Education changes the entire outlook for each child. We can also certainly begin work along the lines of recovery for the presently unemployed. Retraining and practical educational ordering into Commercial hands-on training in Mechanics, welding, repairs and constructions are a quick way to teach men to fish for themselves. Lets start talking about portable water and sewage system for our entire hometown; of roads and electricity. Lets make our governments accountable and responsible.

"Onye gbuwe achara; onye gbuwe"... Words are not enough. All the ideas in this world are worth nothing unless you can find a way to implement them. This is why I was so impressed with the Presentation of our Honorable President, Maazi Collins Olorondu. He outlined a practical but sensible option for Mbaise people to finally achieve our goals in Security and medical mission initiatives. One hundred Dollars per Mbaise family. It is a small amount that many families expend or dispense of daily in careless and sometimes unaccounted expediture. But the power is in the numbers... "agbako aka nyuo mmamiri...figure it out for yourself. My enthusiasm is that if this administration succeeds in making Mbaise people proud by the way and manner that we administer the funds raised in this effort, it will be a gold standard. Mbaise will learn to trust again. Mbaise will also learn that a little here and another little from there can become a large pool for solving and financing our common objectives in educational scholarships, developmental and other community building initiatives. I know it is hard for a community of people who have been beaten down, disappointed and sponged before by our leaders and politicians to have faith in a common purpose again. But I also remind us that if we remain where we are we may never move forward. It was a sad story when Tony Uwakwe recounted his mother's ordeal at the hands of kidnappers; but what is worse is if we do nothing and allow this mayhem to continue to pledge our homeland.

As one member of this Executive I can pledge to every Mbaise person that so long as I have a voice and a vote I will protect your trust in paying this $100.00 development levy. I will fight for full transparency and accountability. We will exhaust voluntary and no-cost options before we spend a penny of your money. I will press my colleagues to also pursue governmental, non-governmental and other sources for financing. But this levy is necessary. We must stand ready to help ourselves if no one else will. This is why we resolved to put it to the public vote. This way, we are responsible and accountable to each indiviadual Mbaise citizen whether they voted yes or no to this one time levy. I promise to fight to channel any remaining funds into other common developmental objectives when we have fully funded our security and medical missions options, but we will only do so after obtaining proper authority from Mbaise people.

Echi d'ime... Lets make it a new beginning. We can decide now that we are going to transcend from all the talk to taking our faith in our hands. Standing still is worse tan going backwards. Let's take sensible steps into our future together as one family determined to succeed. We will rise and fall as one people. We saw the pageantry, we also clapped to the philanthropy of our people in donating their personal funds to our general interests. I call on this newly elected executive not to take the trust of our people for granted. We must deliver to them. Because in doing so, we liberate ourselves together from a scourge that have plagued us all.

Long Live MbaiseUSA
Long Live Mbaise citizen.

Dated this 5th August, 2010

Charles Abiahu
(the poster currently serves as National Secretary for MbaiseUSA; the national umbrella administration of Mbaise people in the United States)